A Meeting of the Order of the Phoenix
by slytherinslut13
Summary: Minerva gets hooked into playing Truth or Dare at an Order meeting that really had no purpose. Warning: Very much a crack-fic! has no point than to brighten your day!


Minerva gets hooked into playing Truth or Dare at an Order meeting that really had no purpose. Warning: Written after 1 AM- this author was running on three hours of sleep and caffeine pills when she wrote this! Crack-fic!

Characters: Minerva M, James P, Albus D, Lily P, Sirius B, Remus L, Marlene M, Emmaline V.

"Albus, what on earth is the meaning of this!" Minerva's McGonagall's irritated tones carried easily down the hall to the large meeting table in the kitchen of Number 172, Kimchett Avenue.

"There's your chance to complete your dare, Padfoot." Remus Lupin said. Sirius Black perked up at once and sprinted towards the voice.

"My sweet Minnie! Oh, how I have missed you in the long hours since we have parted!" He cried, throwing himself on the now thoroughly annoyed teacher.

"Black, remove yourself from my person. Now." Minerva glared at Sirius. "Someone get him off."

The others at the table were enjoying the show too much, and made no move to help her.

"But, don't you want me?" Sirius stepped back, rejected.

"NO." Minerva snapped. "Where is the meeting taking place?"

"Let me show you the way." Sirius took her hand and led the way. "Now, this isn't actually a meeting. We are simply…" he trailed off.

"Simply what?" Minerva's voice was dangerous. Sirius shoved her through the doorway and locked the door behind them.

"Playing truth or dare." Albus finished. Minerva paled.

"Let. Me. Out." She hissed. "Now."

"Ahh, but this is a very nice way to relax. I really do wish that you could stay, my dear." Albus fixed Minerva with that stare of his, and she grudgingly settled in a seat with a small glass of firewhiskey in front of her.

"Now, as Padfoot has completed his dare, it is his turn to ask someone a question." James said, settling a long arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Alright, Lily… Truth or dare?" Sirius asked after a pause.

Lily debated. "…Truth."

"Mmk…" He suddenly grinned evilly. "Have you and James done IT… in the school?"

Lily colored and drank a shot of firewhiskey. McGonagall looked at her in utter shock.

"Sorry Professor…" the red-haired woman said as Sirius, Marlene, and Remus roared with laughter.

"Why on earth did you take a drink?" Was all Minerva could say. It just… slipped out.

"If you don't want to answer the truth or do the dare, you have to take a shot." Emmaline Vance explained.

Minerva buried her face in her hands, wanting to cry. So her options were get drunk, or tell these children her secrets and do dumb things?

"I hate you, Albus." She growled at him. He merely chuckled at her.

Minerva was quite drunk after several more rounds. She had decided to not complete the truths or dares, so… Anyway, she was probably the drunkest out of all of them.

"Professor, I triple dog dare you to answer your next truth." Slurred a very drunk Emmaline. Minerva reached for the bottle, but then stopped and nodded.

After Minerva dared Lily to eat a lemon from James' lips, Lily dared Sirius to kiss Remus (a dare, which was, to everyone's amusement, completed), and then Sirius turned to Minerva, an evil grin on his face.

"Professor McGonagall, truth or dare?" he asked.

"Truth."

"Professor, remember that you have to answer the truth." Lily said.

"I know." Her voice was quite steady for the amount of alcohol that she had imbibed.

"Alright… who and where was your first?" Sirius asked without hesitation.

Minerva sighed, glanced at the liquor bottle, and sighed again. "My sixth… no, fifth year, 1941."

"Which classroom, and who?" Sirius asked quickly. "Those were parts of my original question."

"Erm…" she coughed and colored, glancing at Albus. "Tom Riddle- he was a year above me. And the…" she mumbled something as Albus' eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"What was that?" Remus cupped his hand to his ear, grinning. His werewolf senses meant that he had heard her.

"The Transfiguration classroom." She muttered, so quietly that only Sirius and Remus, the people sitting near her, heard her. They howled with unrestrained laughter.

"What?" asked everyone else.

"The bloody Transfiguration classroom, alright!" Minerva finally burst out. There was a moment of stunned silence, and then the room erupted in laughter.

"That was you?" Albus looked like her was about to have a heart attack.

Minerva blushed. "Yeah…"

"Oh sweet Merlin…" Dumbledore muttered, putting his face in his hands. "I heard that…" Minerva froze.

"Wait, what?" James said, having heard the exchange.

"Well, I heard…" Dumbledore started.

"NOTHING!" Minerva screamed, interrupting him. But it was too late. The entire room was silent for a moment. Then another moment. Then a minute or two.

"Wait, camera what?" Lily said suddenly.


End file.
